This is the time of year, for many of us, as we reflect on the past twelve months, that our thoughts turn toward what we would like to have or do differently in our lives. Lose weight, start exercising, stop smoking, eat more consciously – it is the time for New Year’s resolutions. It’s a new year, a time to begin anew, a time to transform what we don’t want in our lives and to claim what we do. It’s time to consider change.
So why is it, even the prospect of change is so challenging for us? Why is it, despite our best intentions, our deepest prayer, our most powerful affirmations, why is it so difficult to change? Even when we know it will be for our highest and best good, it seems we are often powerless to make fundamental change in our lives. What is it that stops us from transforming ourselves and moving forward? Quantum science has discovered what saints and sages have known for centuries – what stops us is a four letter word… MIND!
That’s right, mind. Even though we have read the book or watched the film “The Secret”, even though we have studied the principles of manifesting and abundance, even though we are convinced we are in the know, why do we continue to resist? Why is it such a struggle to change?
In each moment there is an opportunity to start again… a second chance, or a third chance, or a ninety-seventh! The universe is limitless, boundless and eternally abundant and wants only that we be happy. So what is it that is standing in our way? How does the mind keep us from getting or doing or being what we really want? Mental habits are at the root of this dilemma - mental habits and what we hold as beliefs in the deepest recesses of our consciousness.
Mental habits are like trenches in the mind. They have to be dug arduously by repetition. They are the result of thoughts and thinking, that over and over carve deep grooves that result in other than conscious behavior. For example, take the case of resentment. It does not burst full-blown into the mind right away; it grows more potent with each reoccurrence. At first you simply expect people to behave toward you in a particular way. If they behave in their own way instead, you get surprised, then irritated, then resentful. You are digging a little channel in the mind.
In the early stages, this channel may be quite shallow. Like water in a brook, thought may flow down, but it may also flow somewhere else. The edges of the channel are not well formed yet. They can still be soft and pliable; they may even cave in and fill in the channel a little. Imagine someone you dislike unexpectedly says something kind to you. You may well open and receive their kindness and another channel begins to form. There is an element of choice here. But every time we respond to a situation with resentment, the resentment channel gets a little deeper. Finally there is a huge Grand Canyon of resentment in the mind. Then anything at all is enough to trigger a conditioned resentful response. In that moment, there is no choice. It is not available to you. Resentment consciousness pours down the course of least resistance and can easily end up flooding your life.
The good news is these furrows can also be filled in and new channels can be dug. We can dig new mental channels of kind ways of thinking - for example, patience instead of anger, compassion instead of resentment. Every time you try to return good will for ill will, love for hatred, you have dug your new, beneficial channel a little deeper. Transforming character, conduct, and consciousness is not a moral problem - it’s an engineering problem!
Some of the thoughts in the mind are much stronger, more potent and reside in much deeper subterranean channels. These underground channels are the ones that are actual filters through which we view and experience life. Our thinking and our life experience are actually changed by being forced through these filters. They take what could be clear and make it murky. They take what could be truth and make it a lie. These powerful thoughts, buried so deeply in our consciousness are called beliefs. There is an old saying, “What you believe is what you will perceive.” These beliefs actually change our experience from what is actually happening into a distorted perspective of what we believe is real.
There is a difficult, frustrating, and damaging kind of belief. This kind of belief can arise in quite a stealthy, sinister, menacing way. Have you ever noticed just when you are on the verge of some fabulous possibility in your life, getting, having, or doing something that is really important to you – that you know you deserve and the universe wants you to have, there is a pause, a stalling that turns into a tail spin? Then down you go in flames, leaving behind whatever that fabulous possibility was. This kind of belief is called a silent saboteur. Silent saboteurs can, and more than any other kind of mind filter, often do, sabotage your whole life! It is these silent saboteurs that keep you playing small, that keep you from manifesting all abundance into your life; that sabotage the strongest prayer and intention; that defeat the most elegant affirmation and generally keeps you from living into the empowered, delicious life you deserve.
That’s the bad news. The good news is there are many things you can do to stop this relentless onslaught of disempowerment and change the way you experience life. Yes, the good news is you can make a new beginning… now.
Here is a short list of things to consider:
Notice – Every night before you go to bed, invest a few moments and review what you are putting out into your life, what you thought, said, and did that day. Notice what made you and others happy and make the commitment to yourself to repeat those tomorrow and let the rest go.
Pause - Before you raise your paws! Before you think, speak, or act, take a moment to calm and center yourself and choose not to react. Choose to respond.
Examine – Examine your inner dialogue, the self-talk that often is the source of stuckness, to discover where you might be blocking or sabotaging yourself.
Let Go - Don’t nurse old wounds, let them go. They didn’t help you then and cannot help you now. Certainly experience whatever emotion is here in the moment healthily. If you do, it will come and go in 45 to 90 seconds. Anything after that is being stuck in a story about the emotion.
Be Grateful - Spend less time on what you don’t have and more time on what you do. We are all incredibly blessed with abundance, opportunity, and life itself. Being thankful for what is already here, assures more of that is certain to show up.
Stay Flexible – Flexibility bends, inflexibility breaks! Try yoga or other stretches for the body, new, creative and engaging pursuits for the mind, and a regular spiritual practice for the soul. As all aspects of Self become flexible, even the strongest storms of life will blow by leaving you unscathed.
Stop Judging– The universe is perfect just as it is. Stop the judgment! Stop not only the judgment of others… stop the harsh judgment of yourself!
Choose – Choose a wholesome life environment. A great saint once said, “Environment is stronger than will power.” What you surround yourself with at home, at work, at play, your friends, your thoughts, your behaviors… that is all your environment. Choose wisely and if what is here right now is not supporting you, choose again.
Make someone happy - When you make someone else happy their happiness becomes contagious and you will be blessed in that happiness too.
Ask – Ask for help. You don’t have to do life alone. You can ask trusted friends, family, or professionals for what you need, for what you want. You can pray or meditate and invite the limitless divine help that is here for you always. You don’t have to do it alone.
Finally, you can begin again in each and every moment. Have trust and faith in the universe. Like a little child, believe that each moment is an exciting adventure, a thrilling discovery, a marvelous voyage. It’s all a perpetual gift to you from a loving and abundant universe. Bless each morning in humility and arise with the knowing you are about to embark on a magnificent journey - the rest of your life.
And if it all seems just a little too much sometimes remember this: Angels fly because they take themselves lightly. As you change your old beliefs for the magic of this, you will find yourself lightening up and beginning to fly. Happy New Beginnings.
