Are you a pet owner? Better said, are you human, given the responsibility by your pet, of meeting their every need? Let me start by saying, it is okay to truly love a pet! If you do, at some point you will go through a very rough period when that creature leaves your care. This article may lead you to a resource to help you through that dark and difficult time.

I will start off by admitting that, as a youngster, I had no idea about the incredible bond a pet shares with their person. I am the oldest of eight children. My mother did not have time for pets. Besides, mom liked cats while dad preferred dogs. I was forever bringing home strays. We joke about it today but I think that mom had Ingham County Animal Control’s phone number on her speed dial. So why am I a veterinarian? You see my father was a physician. I loved what he did but I did not want the responsibility of human life so I chose veterinary medicine. Who is the joke on?

There are a variety of reasons to lose a loved one. Did an ailment claim their life? Was it an unfortunate accident? Might someone have absconded with your furry friend? I know of families who had to give their pet away due to lease restrictions. Then there are the escape artists. No matter how hard you try to secure them, they always find a way out!

Often, it’s not the why of how the loss occurred but rather, how you will deal with it. The last thing you want to hear is, “What’s the big deal? It’s just an animal.” Please show these ignorant friends some compassion, as they know not what they are saying! At the end of this article I will provide the phone number and web address for a resource that you may call upon to help you through a very rough time.

Some of us will grieve profoundly. We may sob and feel remorseful that we did not spend more time with our friend. Others feel guilty despite the fact that nothing more could have been done with the available resources. Did we fail to act soon enough? Was not enough done to treat the condition and prevent the inevitable? Suffice it to say, if we could see the future, most of us would alter our paths to avoid or minimize an unfortunate outcome. But we can’t, so we must find a way to deal with the choices we make, and ultimately the loss of our companion.

In my daily practice I use the same pharmaceuticals as my physician colleagues. The same anesthetic agents and suture material that I use in my office when operating on pets were used on me at Sparrow Hospital eleven years ago when Dr. Abood repaired my brain aneurysm. Proper nutrition and exercise are every bit as important for pets as they are for their owners. There is one basic difference however. In today’s world, on average, pets live about one fifth as long as people. This means that you will grieve five times more frequently for the loss of a pet, as you will for the humans in your life!

As a pet owner, do you think you care too much? Are you out of the norm? Not at all! Here is a statistic you’ll appreciate. At least 80 percent of pet owners in America consider their pets to be members of their families. The loss of a pet, for whatever reason, is one of the most difficult challenges you will face. When it occurs, and at some point in time it will, it is crucial that you have a support system in place that respects the bond you shared with your pet.

In Mid-Michigan we have such an entity. It is the Pet Loss Support Group. This organization was developed to assist pet owners and their families cope with the loss of a furry family member. In a safe and sensitive environment, participants are encouraged to express and understand their feelings.

The Veterinary Teaching Hospital at Michigan State University coordinates this endeavor. Individuals who are highly skilled and trained in this arena, under the direction of the Veterinary Social Work Services at MSU’s College of Veterinary Medicine, make this service available to all who are in need. This is done at no cost to the participants.

It is here that individuals and families are provided with a setting where they are able to make their feelings known to others of like mind. It is a wonderful atmosphere for anyone who has suffered a loss. You are free to grieve and share your experiences. The leaders who run the program and see to the psychological needs of those participating are trained professionals. Should more substantial counseling be necessary, they are able to direct those in need to an appropriate resource.

If you find yourself wanting help dealing with the loss of your pet, but are not able to join in the Pet Loss Support group’s meetings, I suggest you ask your veterinarian to recommend a comparable organization. Many of us have access to alternate resources.

Above all you should avoid using alcohol or drugs, unless prescribed by a psychiatrist, to self medicate. Both alcohol and drugs tend to intensify a state of depression. At this point I hasten to add, if you find yourself in considerable distress, it would be best for you to speak with someone who has familiarity with grief counseling. This can be a very difficult time in your life. It is for this reason that your psychological welfare should be kept in the hands of a skilled professional.

Here is a little more information about MSU’s Pet Loss Support Group. Pet lovers who have suffered a loss or are about to lose their furry family member, no matter where in the state they reside, are welcome. On the second and fourth Thursdays of each month at 6:30 p.m. those in need come together at MSU’s Veterinary Teaching Hospital. They enter the building through the main doors to the Small Animal Clinic and are directed to the correct room. Once again, this service is provided complimentarily by Michigan State University’s College of Veterinary Medicine. It is a nonprofit organization supported by individuals, veterinary practices, associations, private foundations and pet related industries. Obviously, tax-free donations are always welcome, but the services are free to those who use the group.

You may call the Pet Loss Support Hotline at (517) 432-2696. They have a recording giving you their regular hours or you may opt to leave them a message. Calling ahead to confirm the meeting time, date and location is a good idea. Should you need a little more information, please contact, Linda Lawrence, MSW, LMSW; Veterinary Social Work Services at (517) 432-5967 or (517) 432-3734.

My hat is off to these remarkable people who care about psychological needs of others. Their goal is to help grieving pet owners cope during a very trying time. Feel free to visit the Pet Loss Support Group’s web site: http://cvm.msu.edu/alumni-friends/information-for-animal-owners/pet-loss-support/pet-loss-support-group-1. There you will find a myriad of resources including, Questions and Emotions to Explore, Suggestions for Self-Care, Web Resources, Recommended Reading List, and much more. Should you be so inclined, they are always ready to receive your tax-free donation and put it to good use helping others.

For those of you who find yourself having a rough time coping with the loss of your loved one, you need not brave this alone. Do yourself a favor and get the help you need and deserve.

As you go through this time in your life there are a few other things to keep in mind:

• As with any other challenging time, take gentle care of yourself by being watchful of your diet, rest, and exercise.
• Make decisions that are in alignment with your own needs and desires.
• Be honest about your feelings and don’t hide your feelings.
• If you need to euthanize your pet, be sure to check with your veterinarian to see whether he/she recommends or allows you to be with your pet.
• Many times it helps pet owners to find a way to memorialize their pet. Planting a tree, painting, drawing, making a collage of pictures are all beautiful ways to memorialize your loved one. Using your creativity to express your emotions can also be very healing and is a way to involve the entire family.
• Keep lines of communication open. If you have children, speak honestly and at an age appropriate level about the loss and all of your feelings.
• Many of us have had others who minimize our losses in terms of grieving a furry animal member. Remember that your feelings are valid. Love is love.
• Share the love that you have in your heart for your animal with other animals. Whether you ultimately spread that love forward with another pet in the future or donate to your local animal shelter, there are lots of ways that you can keep that love going in honor of your pet.